Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 23 February 2018

image for 85 year-old Brit pensioner blames fruit tea for losing her teeth!
Now these would really look absurd on 85 year-old toothless grannies! They're better off drinking healthy acidic teas!

After 85 years on the planet and sipping diverse teas for most of the time, an 85 year-old Brit pensioner has now found out why her teeth are in the jar and not in her mouth!

Scientists have issued a study claiming acidic teas, and other terrible drinks like sugar-ridden fizzy drinks are to blame for people's rotting teeth! WOW! Now that's rocket science!

The 85 year-old pensioner called Gladys The-Gap (nickname given to her by fellow 85 year-old's suffering the same problem) read the report and is now suing acidic tea producing companies for negligence and telling fibs!

One major acidic-lemon-tea producing company (whose name is changed here for legal reasons but begins with an N and ends with an E) told the writer of this scientific breakthrough spoof, Jaggedone, The Toothless Wonder, whose teeth proudly sit in a glass every night soaking in chemical warfare, the following truth about their teas, 85 year-old toothless grannies, and rotting teeth in general!

Here it is:

"Well I can assure you Jaggedone our products do not harm teeth and this scientific report is utter bullshit! Our acidic teas are just like our sugar-filled soft drinks, teeth friendly and, if these moronic scientists can prove that toothless grannies lost their teeth through our products; I'll pay them to have a new set of false molars!"

Toothless Gladys, (remember her?) decided not to pursue legal proceedings against this mega-global player (her pension was too tiny), accepted their offer of a new set of molars, but sadly choked to death whilst sitting in the dentist's chair for a fitting!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Grandmother, sugar




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