Jokes

All jokes submitted by j.w..

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Government Certain of Growth

Assurances given to the CBI by the Prime Minister have calmed the...

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A B.C. Joke

Minutes before the Cuts, that is B.C., I am finding time to enjoy...

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Our Defences are Down

Men in pub in Portsmouth Absolute disgrace. I never thought the Tories...

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Cyder Wars

Men in West Country Pub Whats all this about Cyder Wars? Its Cyber Wars....

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Drop for Kop

The famous Kop at Liverpool Football Club is...

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I've had enough

Ive had enough of this miserable world. Shame...

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Genius

Why doesnt anyone recognise Im a genius? Because...

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Popeye

Popeye, the celibate man, had his fill of Olives oil...

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Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? Coming in here and telling...

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Can I help you?

A Can I help you? B Of course. A You havent a clue....

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Memory Pills

Man to Chemist: Can I have some of those pills to help...

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Jazz programme arranged

The CD by the New Jazz Line Up has caused a sensation....

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Super Jazz Line Up

Strumpet - Louise Keen Trampoline - Bob Upson Dirtynet...

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Something wrong again

Old King Cole was such an arsehole Ring a ring roses Shes...

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Something wrong somewhere

An apple a day Helps you decay Too many cooks Make a poor...

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I'm Doing It Now

Wife: How long is it since I first asked you to paint this...

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Discipline

Husband: Theres one thing you have helped me with over the...

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Fire!

Man: Fire! Woman: Fire what? What do you mean what? What...

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I can't believe it.

I cant believe it. What cant you believe? Youve done it again....

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What's that?

Whats that? Whats what? That thing. What thing? Cant you see...

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Who's that?

Whos that? Whos who? Twit a who. Very funny. Funny? No. Not...

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That Dress!

Hopeful young man at a Party: Your beautiful dress would look lovely...

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Is it an Emergency?

Husband: Im having a heart attack. Can you ring 999? Wife: Im not sure...

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It's a free world.

Two men in pub. Good thing we live in the free world. Yes. There are some...

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