Husband: I'm having a heart attack. Can you ring 999?
Wife: I'm not sure if you count as an emergency. Perhaps you should be more ill and I should ring 111.
Can't you see the state I'm in. I'm gasping for breath.
Well, you're still breathing then.
If I wasn't breathing I'd be dead.
Actually you can live quite a while without breathing.
Please ring 999 or 111 I don't care which.
You may not care. But this can cause problems because non-emergency cases can get in the way of urgent ones. You hear incredible stories about people ringing 999 because their bus is late.
Where's that number for the undertaker?
Just when we need that number you have stopped talking.
What an inconsiderate man you are.