Husband: There's one thing you have helped me with over the years.
Wife: What's that?
Discipline.
You're not disciplined. You never have been. All our married life you have never been disciplined.
But you have helped me to be more disciplined than I would have been otherwise.
You were never good at taking orders from anyone.
Except you, my dear. I would be nowhere without your guidance.
What a load of codswallop! If you were given drill you would start with your left foot instead of your right one.
But you have shown me how to start with the right foot.
Is that supposed to be a compliment?
I would be useless without your regulation of our lives.
You are useless.
You see how much you have helped me.
How could I have helped you with your discipline when you haven't got any?
But the little I have is due to you.
I really think you should stop complimenting me about something I have failed to do.
But you have tried hard. You must admit that.
I'm tired of trying. Now you have made me forget to ring my mother - she will be worried and think I am dead.
I think you need a little more discipline, my dear.
