"I hope, pray, believe I will be able to wake up as vice-president elect, so I made sure to cross out Biden's name on the ballot I cast." Asked by reporters what it was like to vote for herself as vice president, she replied that "it was exciting,...
O'FALLON, MI (Friggemall Wire Services) -- Libertarian Presidential candidate Bob Barr still believes he has a shot at becoming our nation's next leader when the polls close later today. Despite exit polls not looking good for Barr, he believes th...
Newly-elected President John McCain has tragically died of a heart attack just seconds after being informed of the result. His last words were "No f**king way!", before he fell to the ground clutching his chest. President Sarah Palin prised the mi...
In a bizarre and shocking twist to the US presidential election, Ralph Nader has won. He gained 280 electoral college votes, more than the 270 required. Although Nader trailed in the polls by a large margin behind the two favorites Barack Obama a...
The new President of the United States has been announced ahead of the final results. In a surprise victory, Oprah Winfrey has been elected as president ahead of Barak Obama and John McCain. Although many are said to be quite surprised, some polit...
Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): Thanks to state of the art technology International Space Station astronauts can vote 'for the alien commander in chief of their choice' in Tuesday's presidential election. NASA has confirmed that secure electronic ba...
Election day is upon us, and tomorrow we will know who the next US president will be. But the question on everyone's lips is: Can Americans overcome their instinctive prejudices and vote for a bald man? The answer is probably no. For years bal...
Thousands of Brits are being turned away from town halls and schools today after trying to vote in the US election. Following months of front-page coverage of the US presidential race in UK newspapers, Brits turned up at their usual polling statio...
Clever campaign paraphernalia has captured the imagination of political observers for centuries. A papyrus scroll claiming that Jefferson is a godless whore has a prize place in the propaganda collection of Fox News mogul Genghis Khunning. A shov...
Washington, D.C. - In a move many consider an act of desperation, presidential hopeful John McCain and his pick for VP Sarah Palin, used their final campaign stops to accuse Obama of being the Anti-Christ foretold in the bible. "Why hasn't anybody...
London - (Royal Ass Mess): The Third Reich's Puppet Monarch is foaming at the mouth today ahead of poll findings predicting a Barack Obama landslide on November 4th. Old Fatty Mountbatten already blames "anti-slavery liberals", the breakup of the...
In an auspicious augury of the imminently upcoming Presidential election, the Big Blue Giants crushed the once powerful but now totally has been Red Texas Republicants. The Blues outran, out passed and out fundraised the Repubs. Red Republicant...
Quasi News Stations FUXNEWS and MSNBCILE will have different winners in the Presidential election. FUX will make John Mccain and Sarah Palin President and VPILF of the down to earth illiterate states of america. MNBECILE has already appointed Bar...
The elusive Robin Hood of voter reform became a hunted man last week when he granted an eleventh-hour exclusive interview with Rolling Grindstone, and publicly accused the king's men of "stealing the vote". Sir Robert Kennedy Jr., last in a long l...
Springfield PA-- Obama Himself was on hand to dedicate the newest Republican Re-Education Center today in Springfield! The One was declared the election winner by the Main Stream Media last week and is already showing His compassion and grace! Our...
Safe House, DC - According to unnamed sources, Barack Obama is to turn the White House into a Safe House for illegal immigrants if elected. This follows the recent shocking relevation that Barack Obama's aunt is an illegal immigrant from Kenya living...
Heaven-GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin appeared radiant after another behind-closed-doors meeting with, as she termed it: "My Savior." Earlier confirmed reports stated that Jesus had given the McClain-Palin ticket a thumbs down. Th...
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