Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are buying the Forth Bridge, so they can rename it the Susan Boyle Bridge. "We think it's important that a major Scottish landmark is named after Susan. We asked the go...
West Lothian has been put on full alert, after the Fanatics Tracking Bureau issued a Category 5 loonicane warning for the area. The loonicane, made up of hundreds of Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, is expected to hit the area in e...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they have overthrown her management team, and will be taking over all management responsibilities effective immediately. "Well, it is clear that we, Susan's fans, are the ones who know what is best for her. It doesn't matter to us that her team are highly respected, well experienced music industry professionals, and we're...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today making plans for their SuBo 50th birthday surprise. It is expected that around 500 fanatics (mostly American - well OK, ALL American!) will descend on SuBo's hometown of Blackburn on her b...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today boasting about their plans to gatecrash SuBo's house warming party this coming weekend. The party, at SuBo's new Blackburn home, is for family, friends, and selected celebrities only, but the...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced the formation of their new political party, The Lemonade Party. "We were going to join The Tea Party, but they're far too liberal for our liking," said party chairperson Ms. V. V...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are launching a cryonics facility for their fanatics. The new 'Fanatical Loonies Ultimate Freezing Facility' (FLUFF) is now open for business, and is expected to be able t...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are suing Santa Claus for wearing red. "Only we are allowed to wear anything red. This Claus man has no right to wear red without our express written permission. People...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are suing the common cold virus. The suit, filed with the Loonyville Supreme Court, accuses the virus of causing "deliberate embarrassment to 'Lady' Susan by invading h...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today opened their first old folk's home. The Red Scarf Home for the Terminally Deluded opened its doors for the first fee-paying fanatics wanting round-the-clock delusion. "Well, we were basica...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today launched a SuBo musical toilet seat. "Well, we're not in this for the money of course, but we thought we'd start selling something that no fanatic would ever have thought of, and most like...
Hot on the heels of Susan Boyle's impending second album, details of her third CD are starting to emerge. "We have analysed her demographic, and come to the conclusion that only very old religious women with red scarves and wealthy husbands listen...
Deluded red scarf wearing Susan Boyle fanatics today claimed the Chilean mine rescue was all their doing. "When they were found the first thing they asked for wasn't food or water," said a chief fanatic. "No, they asked for a SuBo CD and we made s...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were today celebrating the opening of their new SuBo Store. The store, called Tacky Crap Shack, has been funded by the fanatic's wealthy husbands, who don't expect to see a return on their investments,...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today purchased a leading chain of bookstores, after hearing SuBo would be holding a book signing at one of their stores. "We heard the signing would be on a 'first come, first served' basis, wh...
A gaggle of American Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, on route to Scotland, have spent their first night in jail after attempting to smuggle SuBo into the country. The trouble started at Heathrow airport, when the loonies were seen...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies today staged a 'Burn a Lou Reed CD Day'. Fanatics from all over the US congregated in Florida for the event. "Well, I've never actually heard of this Lou Reed character until today, but I read that h...
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