Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Toilet

Saturday, 30 October 2010

image for SuBo fanatics launch musical toilet seat!
Just what every fanatic needs!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today launched a SuBo musical toilet seat.

"Well, we're not in this for the money of course, but we thought we'd start selling something that no fanatic would ever have thought of, and most likely never wanted anyway!" said a chief fanatic.

The toilet seat has a picture of SuBo on the top, and plays 'I Dreamed A Dream' while in use. "It says 'Now wipe yer arse babe!' when you're done!" boasted another chief fanatic.

The seats, made out of 100% crappy plastic, will be made in China. "We need to squeeze every last dime out these things, though we're not in it for the money!" grinned a chief fanatic. "They will be made at our purpose-built mud hut, er factory, in China. We don't believe in child labor, so we insisted that nobody under the age of 4 will be making our crap!" continued the fanatic.

"We're far too cheap to pay for the real SuBo, so we used the top (well, he told us he was the top) Chinese SuBo impersonator Choo-Chan Bowl (think about it, babe!) to do the voices! Our fanatics are so old they'll never be able to tell the difference anyway!" confirmed the chief marketing fanatic, while rubbing his hands and cackling in sinister fashion.

"Oh, this is lovely and not tacky at all!" said some old dear with a red scarf. "I'll be buying 30, one for each of the bathrooms in my mansion! I just need to go get my wealthy husband's credit card!" she boasted.

The seats are on sale now for $49.99. "Don't even think about returning them!" said the chief marketing fanatic. "Our returns policy is simple: 'You've bought it - you keep it!" laughed the fanatic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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