Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Friday, 14 January 2011

image for SuBo fanatics gatecrash house warming party!
Fanatics snubbed!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today boasting about their plans to gatecrash SuBo's house warming party this coming weekend. The party, at SuBo's new Blackburn home, is for family, friends, and selected celebrities only, but the fanatics have other ideas.

"We hear Susan has invited Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan, but both are busy so we'll dress up as them to get in!" said a couple of fanatics. "I've already painted my teeth white and had my hair cut like a toilet brush! I look like a dead ringer now!" boasted one of the fanatics.

"Our wealthy husbands have used their contacts to get some fake invitations made! They'll have to let us in, even if we're not on the guest list!" boasted some old dear with a red scarf.

"I'll be taking along a quilt as a house warming gift. I know we've already given her about 3000 quilts, but you can never have enough quilts!" said some deluded fanatic.

Other fanatics are resorting to more drastic measures to gain entry to the party. "As an international man of mystery, I will be parachuting in under cover of darkness, using a top secret invisibility cloak, and slipping in through a gap under the door!" boasted a chief fanatic.

"I'm going to pretend to be the lemonade truck delivery driver!" said another fanatic. "I've been practicing my Scottish accent all week! I'll knock on the door and say 'Och aye the noo! I've geet yer lemonade in the vaan!'" continued the fanatic in what sounded more like a Canadian accent.

"I'm going to dress up as a tree and stand in the garden all day. I'll have cameras hidden in the leaves! We must have photos!" grinned yet another old dear with a red scarf.

"I had to buy another house just to store all these bloody quilts!" grumbled SuBo. "I'll have to open a shop to get rid of them all. I'll call it Quilts, Quilts, and More Bloody Quilts!" she continued.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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