Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for SuBo fanatics sue Santa Claus!
That'll be $10,000!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are suing Santa Claus for wearing red.

"Only we are allowed to wear anything red. This Claus man has no right to wear red without our express written permission. People may think he represents our favourite meeting place in some way, which he certainly doesn't. We most certainly wouldn't give anything away to anyone. We haven't all become wealthy by being generous," grumbled a chief fanatic, while taking a break from writing a new volume of rules.

"I've heard this Claus guy is going to be giving away thousands of copies of 'Lady' Susan's new CD. This can't possibly be good for the chart position, which isn't acceptable. We need to manipulate the charts by buying hundreds of copies each, and now we've got some silly fat guy with a white beard going around giving them away. We must put a stop to this!" said some deluded old dear with a red scarf.

Claus' lawyer, Mr. Rudolph R.N. Reindeer, said "my client has been wearing red for years, and now we have a load of loud mouthed silly old ladies with red scarves trying to sue us. Mr. Claus will be delivering gifts as usual this year, despite what these loonies say or do!"

"We will be using our wealthy husband's credit cards to travel to the North Pole! We won't let his sleigh leave until he pays us a fee for wearing red! We'll also insist that he buys all his SuBo CDs from our Tacky Gift Shop! Cha-ching!" said a grinning senior fanatic.

Claus' spokesman, Mr. Ho Ho-Ho, said "Santa feels these fanatics have been bad boys and girls this year, and they won't be getting any presents! They should take some time out and think about how naughty they've been!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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