Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Friday, 3 December 2010

image for SuBo fanatics sue common cold virus!
Sue that virus!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they are suing the common cold virus.

The suit, filed with the Loonyville Supreme Court, accuses the virus of causing "deliberate embarrassment to 'Lady' Susan by invading her throat during a live TV performance, thus causing emotional distress and upset."

"We'll let nothing, not even a virus, cause upset to our 'Lady' Susan. We intend to sue this evil virus for everything it has. Our wealthy husbands have given us their credit cards, so we've got unlimited funds to fight this suit!" boasted a typical fanatic.

The trouble started when SuBo was unable to finish a live TV performance after getting a frog in her throat.

"This evil virus deliberately invaded 'Lady' Susan's throat to cause her embarrassment. That's all I'm willing to believe," rambled a deluded fanatic.

The fanatic's lawyer, Mr. D. Looded, said "We believe we'll win this case. We expect at least $10 million in damages from the virus. Besides, the loony's wealthy husbands are paying so what the hell do I care!?"

"We think the virus needs blessing, so we're praying for it!" said some fanatics praying. "It will, with our help, transform itself from a thing of evil to a thing of beauty. Then we'll invite it to join our church!" they continued.

"I was just looking for somewhere nice and warm. It's cold out there babe!" said the virus. "And stop this blessing crap! I'm supposed to be evil!" it continued.

Lawyer for the virus, Mr. Watva Fuq, said "this is complete madness! My client is innocent. We will fight these loonies all the way. We don't care how much money their wealthy husbands have!"

The case will be considered soon, where it is expected to be laughed out of court.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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