BELEAGURED Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today hit back over claims by a carpet cleaning company that he "stained, soiled and abused" his office rugs whilst conducting an illicit affair with a government employee.
London, Saturday 29 April 2006, (Associated Mess): The Metropolitan Police has confirmed today that it is about to take drastic action on the fiasco of missing foreign ex-prisoners on the run who have so far escaped deportation. And top of their...
Clarence House, London; Friday 28 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): The House of Mountbatten has announced this morning that a public outrcy has confirmed that young Prince Harry has not milked the memory of the late Diana, Princess of Wales enough, n...
Washington DC, Thursday 27 April 2006 -(Associated Mess): The Iraqi Horror Picture Show took a mildly satirical turn for the hearse yesterday with the appointment of President George Bush's new anchor man Tony 'The Blizzard' Snow.
John Prescott (UK Deputy Prime Minister) has been caught red faced in an uncompromising position with Tracey Temple, one of his secretaries, it was reported last night. When challenged, Mr Prescott (67) was happy to confess to having the affair but...
Washington DC, Wednesday 26 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): A drastic damage limitation exercise is under way in the corridor of power at the White House today following the publication of damning photographs of President George Bush Jr inciting a G...
New York City -- Mary Magdalen, recently risen from the dead, held a press conference in Times Square yesterday to condemn the forthcoming movie The Da Vinci Code. Wearing a Vera Wang red toga and Jimmy Choo gold sandals, she clutched a Kate Spade...
London, Monday 24 April 2006 - (Associated Mess): Downing Street has admitted today that the exorbitant cost of grooming Cherry Bush QC during the 2005 general election was due to an infestation of lice which had taken refuge in Mrs Blair's c...
Raids presumptive rival for talent.
Burlington, VT April 24 - FBI agents have apprehended a small group of left wing terrorists who apparently took possession of a Starbucks coffee shop in this small Vermont city. At least eight hostages were in the store when it was seized, though all...
Mr. McMahon The chairman of the WWE is asking the Devil himself for help in his tag team match against Sean Michaels and GOD at the next RAW PPV which is Backlash.
Genealogists revel in solving the mystery surrounding the family history of human kind following the online publication of the 1841 Census of England and Wales.
A senior source within the Bush administration contends that President Bush is considering a secret operation to break into Democratic National Headquarters in the Watergate Hotel in Washington DC some time before the November mid-term elections.
Reuters (24/04/05) - Prosecutors in the trial of al-Qaeda conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui have urged the jury to condemn him to death by tickling.
Shockwaves rippled through the diet industry yesterday as new findings by the University of Liverpool were released about the effectiveness of diets. Shockingly the report was unequivocal in its support of diets, especially crash diets, to lose weig...
Amid dire warnings by experts, that climate change is resulting in the deaths of penguins and polar bears, George Bush asserted, Wednesday, that Global Warming is not all bad. The imminent melting of polar regions, and Greenland's Ice sheet will mak...
Following the recent arrest of Bernardo Provenzano, former head of the Mafia, a vacuum was created soon to be filled by retiring Vice President Dick Cheney. Mr. Provenzano eluded the police (real thing, not old singing group) for the last 43 years, w...
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