World's Heaviest Man to Marry

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for World's Heaviest Man to Marry
Watch out, or he'll eat the plastic figures on the cake too

Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, Mexico, classed as the World's Heaviest Man by the Guiness Book for weighing 1260 pounds, will marry his long time girlfriend this week.

The Bride is also a person of note in the Guiness Book, having the record for being crushed by the largest amount of weight and living.

Said the bride, "one night, Manny was feeling a little frisky and decided we should try a threesome. We invited his best friend, who goes 750 on his own, and had a little party. I felt like I'd gotten crushed by a ton of bricks! It was just the guys."

Maria, the fiance, is a little on the small side and wears an A cup bra. Mr. Uribe, however, makes up for this with his 280-ZX (bra size, not Mazda sport's car).

In many weddings, you have both a bride and a groom's cake. At this wedding, the groom's cake is just for the groom...and so is most of the bride's cake....and the punch....and the nuts....and the little mints....and the flower girl.

The bride and groom plan on honeymooning at the all you can eat buffet at the San Antonio, Texas Golden Corral restaurant.

After the wedding, they will reside in Monterrey in the Avenida de las Americas Apartments, in apartment numbers 1 through 6.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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