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Funny satire stories about Guinness

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Funny story: English pub owner drowns in a barrel of Irish Guinness!

English pub owner drowns in a barrel of Irish Guinness!

(NOT EDITED) With nothing better to do than polish his brass monkeys, walk the dog, play darts with the missus, play 'pocket-billiards' with himself, English pub owner, and ex-entrepreneur, Johnny Jackass (Real name, Johnny Johnson), from Rochdale, L…

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Funny story: Ten Things You Didn't Know About Guinness

Ten Things You Didn't Know About Guinness

1. Africans are black because they drink the stuff. 2. Guinness doesn't travel well. You drink enough of it you will be lucky to make it to the bathroom. 3. It is referred to fondly in Ireland as "liquid viagra". 4. Guinness taken in sufficient quantities produces all the affects of Oscar Wilde. 5. Irish bookmakers give free Guinness to all their customers; but they must drink at least...

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Funny story: St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

In what Irish-Americans are touting as a modern-day St. Patrick's Day miracle, Lower East Side New Yorker Mary McGarry discovered that there was even more beer in her home the morning AFTER her rollicking St. Paddy's Day party than there had been bef...

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Funny story: Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

Area Man Happy To Once Again Not Be Irish

BOSTON-While hoards of inebriated partygoers celebrated the inconsequentially misunderstood holiday of St. Patrick's Day behind him, Boston native and resident sour puss Jerry Doogan, slowly sipped his pint of Guinness at the bar of the Squealing...

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Funny story: Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50% "We felt an obligation to...

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Funny story: London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live

Spotted on the tattered roof of his upper flat in Dalston, Otto Franks, second generation German expatriate and local auto mechanic, reportedly a stable and friendly man by all neighbor accounts, had threatened to jump to his death after forgetting t...

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Funny story: Silly season for the Guinness Book of World Records

Silly season for the Guinness Book of World Records

As news breaks of the World's Largest Potato, dug up in a field in Lebanon weighing in at a mutant 11.3 kilos, and looking as appetising as the Elephant Man's mucus, the Guinness Book of Records gets ready for it's busiest part of the year as record...

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Funny story: World's Heaviest Man to Marry

World's Heaviest Man to Marry

Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, Mexico, classed as the World's Heaviest Man by the Guiness Book for weighing 1260 pounds, will marry his long time girlfriend this week. The Bride is also a person of note in the Guiness Book, having the record for being...

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Funny story: Guinness and Heineken really made from Shit and Piss

Guinness and Heineken really made from Shit and Piss

Representatives for multinational drinks firms Guinness and Heineken have at last come clean and admitted that they make their beverages from human excrement.

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Funny story: Holy Trinity Appears On A Pint Of Guinness

Holy Trinity Appears On A Pint Of Guinness

Sensational news from Ireland, as reports surface all over the Internet, that God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost have appeared on the head a pint of Guinness in a Boutique Hotel in Dublin's trendy Temple Bar.

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