What’s the greatest threat to men in the world today? War, famine, pestilence, their Porn Hub membership expiring? No, it’s … the VAGINA!
Clerics of ALL religions hate the vagina for a very simple reason: it can create life, and the penis cannot.
And that, in a very simplistic nutshell, it why religion is, and why the Taliban are, and Iran is, and Israel is, and India and Pakistan are, and why America thinks Jesus was real and Mormon.
The vagina competes with God, or God is forever competing with the vagina. God says HE (always a he, ever notice?) can alone create life … and then a pregnant woman wanders by, proving Him full of donkey shit. (Where’s your messiah now? Riding the donkey into Jerusalem, where old gods go to die.)
The Pope hates the Vagina, which is why he has now issued a decree saying that all Catholic nuns are no longer allowed to have a vagina.
(Psst: yes, he knows science is real and his doctrine means nothing real, except for psychological torture, but the King never likes to be told about his new “clothes”, so let’s all play alone with the mad man’s madness).
All nuns must piss standing up. When they have their period, they just have to let it bleed and say, “Praise the Lord – I have stigmata!”. They have to sit with their legs open, and must be “scratching” their phantom balls at all time. Burping and farting will get you a first class ticket into Heaven. (If that’s a place you really want to go? Hell’s way cooler … they allow smoking indoors!)
Nuns have to be guys, basically. Or else they will anger their Pope, and he knows how to make people disappear (and it ain’t magic, it’s “mafia magic”.)
So if you are Catholic and female, don’t be surprised if your pontiff suddenly gets as jealous as his cave man ancestors and jumps up and down when lightning flashes in the sky, and tells you you ain’t no woman no more.
PS: Strangely, this story has nothing to do with J.K. Rowling. But if you wish to extrapolate meaning from it and place it elsewhere, who am I to play God and tell you that your fantasy is real and reality is fake. Gotta follow the science, after all.
