Pope Pourri for Catholic Deliciousness!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 7 January 2023

image for Pope Pourri for Catholic Deliciousness!
Lining Up for the Pope's Holy Buffet

Ratziner (he’s got all the good zingers!) the hideous Pope with the perma-black heroin eyes is dead, not cremated just in case he turns zombie and comes back for brains … but if not, what to do with the body?

Now, the Vatican’s top chef, Immanuel Jesus Christ Fabio IV, has suggested to Frank, the current Pope, “Eh, Francis, why we don’t sell pieces of the old Pope to little old Italian widows for them to kiss and pray to and maybe rub on their vaginas for good luck?”

Frank loved the idea!

Just as Christian clerics around the world love holding onto body piece of people they call saints and martyrs – for little old Italian widows to kiss and pray to (idolatry is a sin … unless the Pope says it’s okay to worship a dried-up old leather skin corpse from the Year 60 – now that’s religion!), so there’s not much of a change for them.

Kiss a 1000 year old toe bone or kiss a toe bone (you know what I’m really saying, right?) of a guy who’s still warm? You do the math.

Pope Frank just hopes no one gets a disease, not just because they’re putting their mouths on a dead guy, but because Ratzinger wasn’t the cleanest of men … sodomizing all those choir boys sure can get your cock encrusted with holy shit – and Ratty didn’t like to bathe himself if there was someone else available to do it, under the age of 18, naturally.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more