U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken met with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss several topics, including Israeli-Palestinian relations. Benny said to Antony: “We promise when we torture and kill Palestinians, we won’t do it in front…
China and Russia have been in communication with Trump the entire time he has been NOT a president. But they’re just waiting … Trump has promised both nations that he will sell pieces of America to them, let them introduce their companies into the Am…
Lauren Boebert (god, not her again) has said to a kinda enthusiastic crowd (though the hand-clapping could’ve been added in later) that she is excited to be living in the times when Jesus Christ is gonna come back! This time for sure! Why do Ch…
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News reports that it has just learned from information guru Andy Cohen, that one of the biggest meteors in the history of the world is speeding towards Earth, and is expected to hit the state of Alabama…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Mayan High Chief God Emeritus, Hokum Hokum, whose prediction of the end of the World failed to materialize on December 21, 2012, accepted the fact that he was overly optimistic when he warned the World’s inhabitants that they woul...
When I was growing up in the 1970s, there was a lot of talk of Nuclear War. "The threat of Nuclear War is all around us", we were told, and the mere thought of it was enough to make you shudder with fright. In Hull, a leaflet was available entitle...
Earth. According to the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, the Doomsday Clock is set to two and one-half minutes before midnight. As one scientist put it, "That's just long enough to find a brown paper bag and hyperventilate into it until you pass o...
Warwick, NY The Jehovah's Witnesses announced today that they will be merging with the group The Family, formerly known as the Children of God. "We have been looking at ways to let people know about the coming Armageddon that we've changed the dat...
Jihadi Donald has done it again! This time he's sent his minions to spread rumors about Hillary and Obama creating ISIS. Facepalm! Is he really that desperate? Granted. It's pretty obvious that Hillary has a rather, how shall we put it?, diversi...
While wasting time aimlessly searching the night sky through the telescopic lens of his new Fisher-Price toy assault rifle, a 9 year-old boy accidentally discovered the most important astronomical event ever witnessed in the history of Earth, when he...
Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam's giant planet computer in Hitchhik...
The entire contents of the Svalbard 'Doomsday' vault are set to be sold at an auction for millions of eager bidders. Svalbard is widely known to be the largest storage vault in the world, containing more than 800000 worldly treasures. It was first...
For the second time in as many millenniums the good Lord has put the kibosh on Doomsday. Said Lord God, "Full scale death shall be dealt not now nor anytime in the next 1000 years." Specialty TV programmers are aghast. "This is not good news,...
New York - If the world comes to an end in 2015 for convicted RICO lawyer Steven Donziger, where on earth could he turn to? That is the karmic poser being studied by the office of the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York...
Dabiq - A World Council of Wicca elder has written to Islamic State bigwigs about their adherents flocking to the Syrian border personality town of Dabiq scene of an ancient 7th century Sunni prophecy about Judgement Day. Mother Superior says she...
Scientists at the Hadron Particle Accelerator outside Geneva, Switzerland are all excited at being given 'permission' to conduct a "ground breaking" particle experiment in the 27 kilometre long tunnel. Lead particles will be accelerated at veloci...
Oakland, California - It's a roller coaster ride to Armageddon this Winter Solstice weekend with the publication of failed Apocalyptic prophet Harold Camping's final deathbed rant exonerating the 2012 Mayan Calendar fiasco as 'slightly out of sync'.
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