DUCK DUNG, Alabama - (Satire News) - Asburn Wasabi, a writer with Omninum Gatherum, writes that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, estranged husband of Melania "Legs" Trump, has just been named by the Ku Klux Klan as their 2023 Man of The Year.
When told of the honor the Trumptard simply said that the KKK, the Proud Boys, The Nazi's of America, and 19 million rednecks will elect him president in 2024.
Meanwhile, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis says that the only way Trump will beat him is if he is kidnapped by a Central American drug cartel.
SIDENOTE: Wasabi says that he recently heard from a DI (drug informant) that DeSantis has been warned not to venture to far from his bodyguards, because the Guatemalan mafia is looking to capture him and hold him for a $20 million ransom.
