MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice reports that President Putin has been catching hellacious hell from over 83% of the Russian citizens.
The KV says that about 89% of the Russian troops are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and they want to return to their homes, their farms, their apartments, and their underground bunkers.
Reports that some of Russia's most respected oligarchs like Rudyard Novovich, Nikivid Taychufski, and Joseph Leninprobst have all drilled into Putin's brain that if he does not leave Ukraine, then there is a fucking good chance that he could get forcibly removed from office, and his old ass will be shipped to the coldest part of Siberia. ■
