LONDON - (Satire News) - BBC reporter Tyrus Bottomfiddle has been embedded with the 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment for the past two months.
He recently reported that 92% of the regiment's troops are extremely depressed and they want to return to the UK as soon as possible.
The 707th was recently beaten to a pulp by a Russian regiment made up of homeless Russians at the battle of Humdinger Creek.
King Charles III, reports that the 707th will remain in Ukraine, and he will be sending war therapists and masseuses to see if he can un-depress some of the Brit soldiers.
Meanwhile, back in merry olde England, residents are concerned as the price of fish and chips continues to skyrocket.
