KABUL, Afghanistan - (Satire News) - Sandstone, the Afghanistan national news agency, has just reported that the most popular male name in the Taliban-controlled country is no longer Mohammad, Abdul, or Ahmad.
Sandstone has revealed that the most popular male name in Afghanistan is now Johnny, yes, Johnny, as in Johnny Depp, Johnny Mathis, Johnny Carson, Johnny Cash, and Johnny Appleseed.
The reason for that amazing moniker change is due to the fact that Afghani President Abu Taboo Fashu, who is a brilliant strategist, has told his countrymen and countrywomen, that in order to become more liked and accepted by the American people, they should begin giving their male babies American names such as Johnny, Billy, and Woody.
President Fashu has let his people know that he wants them to assimilate and to become more Americanized.
So he has promised that anyone who gives their Afghani male baby an American name will receive two camels, a $70 gift certificate good at any of Afghanistan's 163 McDonalds, and two bottles of Johnny Walker Red. ■
