MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Moscow's TV Channel 903 is reporting that a highly reliable source inside Putin's circle has revealed that the Russian leader is deathly afraid of being poisoned.
The insider who said her nickname is "Fluffy" commented that as a result of Putin being paranoid he has resorted to eating nothing but McDonalds Big Macs.
The insider reported that Put, as Melania Trump refers to him, got the idea from his former ex-boyfriend Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, who at times, would eat up to 9 Big Macs a day.
Putin commented that if the burgers did not harm the racist, tax-evading, he-bitch then he figures they won't hurt him.
SIDENOTE: Regarding the Putin-Melania love affair, the Kremlin Voice has noted that Valdimir told his chauffeur that he has already gotten to 2nd base with the Trumptard's wife.
