MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Russian president Vladimir Putin says that lately he has had a lot of stress.
He noted that with the mess in the Ukraine, the shit storm in France, and now the uprising in Greenland, he hardly gets to sleep 55 minutes a night.
Putin said that he has taken all kinds of sleeping pills, but the thing that finally made him able to fall asleep pretty quick is when he listens to videotapes of Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump’s campaign speeches.
The Russian dictator stated that the stress has gotten so bad that it has caused him to have erectile dysfunction, or Dicalimpatitis, as it is scientifically known.
SIDENOTE: Anderson Cooper recently reported that Putin and Melania Trump are still very close friends and both text each other at least 3 times a day using lots of kissing emojis.
