MOSCOW – (Satire News) – The Kremlin Voice has just announced that Russia will not be invading Slovenia after all.
The state-owned publication stated that President Vladimir Putin, and he alone, made the decision, and of course as everyone in Russia knows what Vlady Putin says - goes 110%.
Initially Russia was going to invade Slovenia after a high-ranking member of the Slovenian government had commented that Putin is extremely short, and he makes the tiny American actor Danny DeVito look like an NBA basketball player.
Putin who hates Trump with a passion, and who has bragged that he (Putin) is the puppet master and the Trumptard is the puppet, has become Melania Trump’s ‘texting buddy.’
The Kremlin Voice reports that the two sometimes will be texting at 2 am, and some of the texts are actually quite R-rated.
The Russian leader truly has a big crush on the long-legged former first lady, who just happens to be from Slovenia.
SIDENOTE: Information guru Andy Cohen has revealed that Melania upon hearing that Putin was going to invade her beloved Slovenia, texted him and asked him to please call the invasion off. And viola…the invasion was cancelled just like that!
