Fauci Explains Wuhan Lab Leak Was Meant to Hurt Only China

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 5 June 2021

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Fauci emphasized his commitment to truth telling. “Even if the words may come out a bit muffled.”

In the face of accusations that the National Institutes of Health funded dangerous gain of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology resulting in the outbreak of a novel new coronavirus, Anthony Fauci explained that the Wuhan lab leak was meant to hurt only China.

"Never in a million years did we expect the virus to be able to travel to Europe or the U.S. or places we actually care about," stated Fauci. "It's so tiny!”

Fauci added that as far as he and other NIAID scientists were concerned, the novel new coronavirus merely represented an organic, non-violent way of tipping the balance in the U.S.-China trade war. “Not that we actually had anything to do with the gain of function research in Wuhan,” he said. “I’m not sure why you’re even suggesting that.”

The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases Director concluded by emphasizing his own commitment to straight talk. “Whether it’s through a face mask or even two, I always speak the truth,” said Fauci. “Even if the words may come out a bit muffled.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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