SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – A retired army general who is now on the San Francisco city council has informed the news media that a North Korean warship was spotted off the coast of San Francisco.
General Augustus P. Fesstavelli III stated that, at first, residents of Frisco thought the vessel was the American destroyer the U.S.S. Marilyn Monroe, which was on its way from San Diego to Kodiak, Alaska, to conduct some naval war games.
But, as the warship, identified as the NKS Chim Chung Duck Soup, got closer, San Franciscans could clearly hear North Korean hip-hop music, and even faintly smell the fragrance of Pyongyang Buckwheat Reconstituted Pasta Noodles permeating through the cool San Francisco air.
A coastguard PT boat quickly headed towards the foreign warship and fired a warning shot over its port bow. The Korean vessel stopped dead in its tracks.
The ships exchanged signal flags and the Korean captain informed the PT boat captain that they just wanted to come ashore and partake of some of Chinatown’s world-famous Chinese cuisine.
After conversing for 12 minutes, the ship was allowed to dock and the Korean crew were welcomed ashore.
The foreign crew ate at the famous Madam Shanghai Ying Yang’s House of Rice. Afterwards, they went souvenir shopping before re-boarding their ship and sailing off to North Korea.