God And Allah Get Into Fistfight Over Insulting Comments

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Tuesday, 15 June 2021

image for God And Allah Get Into Fistfight Over Insulting Comments
I think it is better to step on people than to smite them.

God and Allah one day decided to have a couple of beers together. They both were taking a sabbatical from smiting people and decided this would be a good way to bury the hatchet between religions. They were sitting on a cloud bank held up by a dozen angels who were being punished for flapping their wings too loud during quiet time. Each of them was drinking a beer.

“I thought Muslims couldn’t drink alcohol”, started God. “Don’t you smite your people for imbibing in alcohol?”

“Oh definitely”, answered Allah. “But that rule is for them and not me”.

“So, what brought about you taking a day off of smiting?”, questioned a perplexed Allah.

“I needed a break and decided to use one of my personal vacation days. Smiting people can be stressful at times. So, what prompted you to take a day off?”

“Virgins.”, answered Allah.

“Virgins? What? Are you telling me you are out of virgins?” an exasperated God replied. “I thought you were swimming in virgins the way your martyrs were killing people and sacrificing their selves in your honor”.

“I only have ten of them left. I need 72 for every martyr. My distributor tells me there is a problem in the supply line”.

While sitting on the angelic cloud Allah noticed that his part of the cloud was sinking rather rapidly.

A surprised Allah suddenly shouted out: “Hey I am sinking! Now I am going to be lower than you! That is unacceptable!”

“Well for Christ’s sake, maybe if you weren’t so fat you wouldn’t sink”, bellowed God. “Honestly, you look like a hippo with a turban”.

Before you know it both God and Allah got into a fight.

First God tried to smite Allah, but that did not work. Then Allah threw a thousand martyrs at God and that did not work. After that the two of them resorted to fisticuffs.

As of press time Allah had God in a headlock and was giving him a nuggy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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