Fauci, CDC initiate cropdusting approach to vaccines

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Wednesday, 26 May 2021

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Anti-Vaxer runs in vain

Well, if you’re afraid of needles you ought to be very happy today! You should also be happy if you hate debates! The CDC has figured out a way to end the COVID-19 vaccine debate. A very happy Dr Fauci today announced the successful completion of a pilot test run over a small Orlando, FL suburb, using high-tech crop duster style aircraft to administer the vaccine.

The pilot went very smoothly with the exception of one anti-vaxer who fled initially but was ultimately covered.

The CDC will release flight schedules later this week and their latest estimates indicate we’ll be doused with COVID-19 vaccine by early June. The plan will account for having all metro areas “vaccinated” by mid-June. The remaining rural areas will be covered by the end of June.

Asked about the viability of this method, Fauci said he’s been a big proponent of crop dusting the US population “for several years now”.

Future vaccines will “very likely” be distributed the same way according to the doc. He mused that this will open things up for new possibilities. “We need this ok, that’s the reality now! Our population too often strays off the farm and we can’t afford to let that happen too often anymore because there’s too much at stake.” Fauci showed no hesitation in likening us to common farm animals, but then pointed out that it was all about the “greater good”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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