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Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Funny story: Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Already heralded as an omen for the new year, today’s incident in a major American city (anonymous in this report) has brought significant developments. That the elevator was also crowded has added to how to respond to the problem. Numerous que...

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Darts Farts Crackdown

Funny story: Darts Farts Crackdown

The air turned nasty last week when Scottish darts double world champion Gary Anderson and Dutch opponent Wesley Harms both denied responsibility for creating "rotten egg smells" on the oche. Following his defeat by Anderson 10-2 at the Grand Slam...

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"Over-Farting'' has now been declared a global deadly health threat by the WHO

Funny story: "Over-Farting'' has now been declared a global deadly health threat by the WHO

Investigators are still examining the strange death of a Dutch cabbage farmer, who died of 'Over-Farting'. It is believed the man had begun a health-kick diet high in anti-oxidants and sulforaphane, believed to prevent a key cause of cancer. Howev...

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Real Women Fart

I am so sick of pretending...so get real. GAS is good. If you can't fart around the ones you love, they can't be trusted and must be killed. I am constantly being surrounded by women that would have me believe that they never blow it out. Really? Give me a god damn break...these same women let strangers wax their crotch, but would never think to let one go in say...a crowded elevator or someth...

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Man Invents Breakthrough Contraption That Assist Old People Who Are Always Forgetting Shit

Funny story: Man Invents Breakthrough Contraption That Assist Old People Who Are Always Forgetting Shit

Omaha, Nebraska - A lifelong resident here, has created a breakthrough invention for aging adults with memory troubles. Philip Myers, 63, claims The Invention will change people's lives. "It happens to all of us old folks," states Myers. "We're si...

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Scientists announce first underwearable smartass phone

Funny story: Scientists announce first underwearable smartass phone

San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...

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One man's dream: Flatulence to Flight

Funny story: One man's dream: Flatulence to Flight

Scientists from the Seattle Technology Institute National College (STINC) have achieved a major breakthrough in recycling technology. Spokesperson Violet Funk explained. "STINC specializes in recycling human and animal waste, with a focus on conve...

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Man Produced Fart That Lasted About 25 Seconds

Funny story: Man Produced Fart That Lasted About 25 Seconds

A teacher has told of how an enormous build-up of gas in his intestine led to him releasing a fart that lasted about 25 seconds. Moys Kenwood, 55, had been sitting at a computer, planning a lesson for about one hour, when he felt that he needed t...

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Meghan Markle and Queen Break More Than Bread At First Tea

Funny story: Meghan Markle and Queen Break More Than Bread At First Tea

Many of us knew it twas only a matter of time before it happened, but alas it finally...happened. At Buckingham Palace, during Sunday tea with the Queen, sitting down with Meghan Markle for just an intimate little twosome - the first time since the w...

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Man Tried, Unsuccessfully, To Stifle Fart

Funny story: Man Tried, Unsuccessfully, To Stifle Fart

'Embarrassment' was hardly the word to use for one man in Battambang this morning, after he tried to stifle a fart that his instinct told him, was likely to have a major impact in his classroom. Moys Kenwood, 54, attempted to subdue the pump he kn...

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Trump-Kim Summit to Include Farting Contest

Funny story: Trump-Kim Summit to Include Farting Contest

The summit meeting between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un is apparently back on, after Dear Leader Kim acceded to one of President Trump's key demands. "I am only too happy to accept President Trump's challenge," announced the Dear Leader in a press...

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Man's Stepdaughter Breaks Wind Very Near His Face

Funny story: Man's Stepdaughter Breaks Wind Very Near His Face

There was real family drama in the Tapon area of Battambang last night, when the stepdaughter of an Englishman living in the locality broke wind in close proximity to his face, causing much resentment. Moys Kenwood, 54, was typing out a spoof sto...

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Invisible Russian spies attack the UK with 'Baked Beans!'

Funny story: Invisible Russian spies attack the UK with 'Baked Beans!'

After the shocking poison attack in Salisbury by Russian agents, who nobody has found, seen, or even proof that they did it, Putin has ordered his invisible agents to attack Brits with their favorite food, Baked Beans! The first attack was on a ca...

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Man Woken Up By Own Fart

Funny story: Man Woken Up By Own Fart

A man was stirred from his slumbers in Cambodia last night after hearing a noise which he subsequently realised was his own anus speaking to him through the medium of a fart. Moys Kenwood, an Englishman, was fast asleep when, from the depths of hi...

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Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Funny story: Earth's rotation slowed due to global farting

Geneva, Switzerland - Professor Grostrou DuCul of Le Pied Malodorant University held a small press conference this afternoon to clarify how global warming is producing earth quakes. According to the Professor both animals and humans turn their ba...

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Hillary renamed book "I Fart"

Funny story: Hillary renamed book "I Fart"

In an effort to boost flagging sales, the notorious loser, Hillary, has renamed her losing 'book', from the insipid "What Happened?", to "I Fart". The new publisher selected for this new edition is a little known vanity publisher the name of which w...

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Trump Introduces New 'Fart Code'

Funny story: Trump Introduces New 'Fart Code'

Since taking office, President Donald Trump has signed over 43 executive orders. Today he has added to that tally by signing another and possibly his most controversial and bizarre to date. The executive order bans the word 'Trumped 'from bein...

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Neighbors Get Restraining Order To Stop Woman From Eating Beans

Funny story: Neighbors Get Restraining Order To Stop Woman From Eating Beans

A family in Higginsbern have successfully obtained a restraining order that prevents their neighbor from eating beans. Inger Clifton said she and her family had complained about a gas smell since moving in to the apartment above Flo Pyroclastopis'...

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