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Funny story: Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...

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Funny story: Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

Thefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"

BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...

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Funny story: Brian, 'The Bitch' And The Big Probe

Brian, 'The Bitch' And The Big Probe

A husband is accusing his wife of rape after allegedly refusing to give consent for a dildo to be inserted into his anus. Brian Moonwide, 31, met his wife Alexis 4 years ago and like most sex fiends are seen as reserved and quiet by their neighbou...

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Funny story: Dildos Intimidate Gun Club Members

Dildos Intimidate Gun Club Members

A sportsman's club in Pennsylvania claims an animal rights group tormented its members with "emotional violence" to protest its using pigeons for target shooting. Philadelphia Gun & Hunting Inc. filed a federal lawsuit against the animal right...

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Funny story: Rupert Giles

Rupert Giles

Rupert Giles studied at Oxford University, but dropped out before earning a history degree to become a voyeur, or "watcher," as his father and grandmother Edna had been before him. Rather than taking his wayward son to task for wasting what could have been a superb education at one of the world's leading universities, Giles' father approved of his decision, affirming it as a fulfillment of his "de...

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Funny story: Primrose Hill humming UFO 'nothing more than some luvvy's vibrator' - report

Primrose Hill humming UFO 'nothing more than some luvvy's vibrator' - report

London - A lunar-powered battery charger servicing the latest in dildo technology has been outed as the source of an 'alien' hum. Three months of intensive MoD probing investigated paranoid Primrose Hill residents' claims that some sort of extrate...

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Funny story: 18-inch sex toy found in arrested man's pants!

18-inch sex toy found in arrested man's pants!

Louisville, UNITED STATES: In the land of the free Louisville Metro Police spotted a Louisville male, strolling about the place with a large bulge in his pants. Officers stopped the Louisville man and patted him down. They discovered the huge...

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Funny story: Boliva Issues Alert for 'Tin Pot Dictator' Colonel Juan Bolivar In Inca Artifact Caper!

Boliva Issues Alert for 'Tin Pot Dictator' Colonel Juan Bolivar In Inca Artifact Caper!

INTERPOL has been alerted after the state of Boliva issued a warrant for a self styled Bolivian Colonel who claimed to be the great grandson of Simon Bolivar in order to loot the country of priceless Inca Artifacts including the irreplaceable "Golde...

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Funny story: Dyslexic Woman Goes Shopping For New "bilbo"

Dyslexic Woman Goes Shopping For New "bilbo"

Police responded to a complaint by store employees about a customer throwing a temper tantrum in their business and making a scene. Two cars with four uniformed offices responded to the complaint at the Eros Adult Supplies location on Montana Avenue...

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Funny story: Police ban truncheon over "dildo" complaints.

Police ban truncheon over "dildo" complaints.

The Son Newspaper learned today that police forces around the UK are to ban the old truncheon after receiving complaints they have been used as "dildo's". According to a secret memo the Chief Constable of Murkeyside Constabulary has banned the use...

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Funny story: Biden and Gore Endorse New "High Tech Underwear" - Promotes Increased Sex Drive and Hair Growth!

Biden and Gore Endorse New "High Tech Underwear" - Promotes Increased Sex Drive and Hair Growth!

Washington,DC/ Washington Post/Life Style Section - VP Joe "Rambo" Biden and Hedge Fund Manager/Solar Dildo spokesman Al Gore, both agree: their new underwear has freed their libido, as well as reinvigorated their hair follicles! The exciting an...

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Funny story: Obama Rescues NASCAR: Gore Named Car Czar After Big 3 Fail!

Obama Rescues NASCAR: Gore Named Car Czar After Big 3 Fail!

Charlotte, NC/ Open Wheel News - President Elect Barack Obama acted with alacrity today moments after news from Wall Street that the Big Three automakers declared bankruptcy and withdrew their NASCAR support. Announcing it was "time for a CHARGE",...

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Funny story: Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Marshall Space Flight Centre, Alabama - (X-Files Mess): Alien sabotage may be behind suspected tampering of NASA's Ares moon rocket which has begun humming and vibrating weirdly 'like a gigantic cosmic dildo' according to reports. Prof Jeff Finck...

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Funny story: Palin Awarded the Rubber Dildo Award

Palin Awarded the Rubber Dildo Award

Arizona Center for Biological Diversity awards the Rubber Dildo award every year to the pubic figure that has spent the most effort fucking themselves up at the expense of the common good. George Worst President ever Bush has won the prize seven year...

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Funny story: Al Gore is Spokesperson for Solar Powered Dildo!

Al Gore is Spokesperson for Solar Powered Dildo!

Perennial Democratic Poster Boy Al Gore announced today he would be the worldwide spokesperson for the new solar powered dildo marketed under the "MEAN GREEN MACHINE " label and sold in K-Mart under the Martha Stewart line of household implements.

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Funny story: Birmingham City Owners in Dildo Riddle

Birmingham City Owners in Dildo Riddle

Police have been left in a state of dildo confusion after arresting Birmingham City Football Club co-owner David Sullivan and the club's minging director Karen Brady.

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Funny story: Ballack and Kahn - German Footballers are Dildos

Ballack and Kahn - German Footballers are Dildos

German footballers Micheal Ballack and Oliver Kahn were today celebrating after being awarded 50.000 eauros each over claims that they resemble large dildo's.

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