Pelosi Spotted at Gas Station While Attempting to Hitchhike to Afghanistan

Written by Sasa Stankovic

Friday, 18 January 2019

image for Pelosi Spotted at Gas Station While Attempting to Hitchhike to Afghanistan

A number of people claim they have seen Nancy Pelosi, the speaker of the House of Representatives, at one of the Washington D.C. gas stations.

She was either talking to vehicle owners, asking them if they were heading towards Central Asia, or holding a sign above her head with “Afghanistan“ written on it.

She agreed to talk to us under one condition: we will publish the interview only after receiving a phone call from Mexico, which will confirm that her attempt to illegally cross the border was successful.

“Let me answer the obvious question before you ask it," she started. “If the President doesn’t want to give me a military plane to visit troops abroad, why don’t I just buy a plane ticket? Easier said than done, as his people are following me everywhere, and any attempt to get near an airport or purchase a ticket might annoy Trump enough to close down all US airports. The man is insane, and it’s not like it hasn’t been done before.”

“Going by my own car was an option, until I found out that all vehicles at my disposal have been bugged, including my private car. He would know where I am and just might close the borders to prevent me from escaping the country. It’s not like he didn’t propose it before.”

“Most people I talked to at the gas station were really nice. One of them was from a small mining town in West Virginia, and offered to drop me off in his hometown.”

“He said I would be safe, because no one there knows who I am.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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