Death Toll Rises In School Massacre

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 15 January 2021

image for Death Toll Rises In School Massacre
Four of the dead earlier

Death is never a laughing matter, much less so a mass killing, but try telling that to the perpetrator of five murders that all occurred within a single blink of the eye of each other this morning, leaving five dead.

The incident happened during a lunchtime break at a local school, when teacher Moys Kenwood, 57, was quietly reading a book in the teacher's room. He heard a distinctive buzzing in his ear, which meant their was a mosquito about, and he reached for his mosquito zapper to resolve the matter.

What happened next, however, could not have been predicted.

Instead of snaring just one victim in the electrocuter, there were several, which he tipped out onto the floor, sneering.

After a short break for a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, he proceeded to sweep the entire room with the zapper - under a bench and chairs, at the side of a cupboard, behind a computer table, under a desk, into dark recesses and in amongst some cardboard boxes containing old documents.

Bodies piled up. Nobody called the police.

The zapping continued until the red battery light on the zapper started to fade, indicating a session of charging was appropriate.

The death toll was enormous.

If there were such a thing as a Mosquito Police Force, Kenwood would have been in serious trouble, but there isn't, so he wasn't.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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