US Election to Finally be Deciided in the Ring

Funny story written by Doubting Thomas

Sunday, 13 December 2020

image for US Election to Finally be Deciided in the Ring
Presidential Grudge Match. Watch now on HBO!

The job of most powerful crook in the world will no longer be held in doubt. The contest is to be decided by a WWE smackdown or "Presidential Grudge Match", as it is currently being advertised.

Tickets for the fight are selling fast, and the UN is growing increasingly concerned that world supplies of popcorn may soon run out

In the left corner, a bumbling idiot so popular that three million dead people voted for him, was rumoured to have said "Errr. What day is it, Jimmy? Would you like a sweetie?" whilst the candidate for the far right simply stated: "I don't know the meaning of the word lose - it's too long, and has letters in it."

Countries around the world are sitting up and taking an interest, although rumours that the French have already surrendered to the referee have yet to be confirmed.

It is also yet to be confirmed that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson or "The Undertaker" will also take part by publicly oiling their nipples as a warm-up act, having each demanded large chunks of Canada in payment.

When pressed to comment, bastions of democracy, such as Yemen, North Korea and Saudi Arabia have offered to send in troops to ensure a fair fight and peaceful transfer of power.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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