Funeral Wailing Woke Man Up In Middle Of Night

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 11 December 2020

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An alarm clock: redundant in this area

In yet another case of someone being roused from their peaceful rest by circumstances outside of their control, a man who could well have done without it was torn from the Land of Nod this morning, by the screeching, monotonous wailing of a Buddhist funeral ceremony.

Moys Kenwood, 57, of Battambang, who, just yesterday, was rudely awakened when a mouse ran over his arm, was enjoying a few hours much-needed repose, when, at 3:25 a.m., he was alerted to the fact that some token individual completely unknown to him had passed from this plane of existence into the next - if, indeed, there is a next.

The lamentations blaring from huge, powerful loudspeakers filled the air for miles around, and shook awake every living soul within a two-mile diameter.

Nothing could now be done for this poor, unfortunate soul, but the cacaphony around the district suggested that efforts were being made to recall the spirit to its corpse.

First a man, then a woman, then the man and the woman, then some earpiercing feedback, just in case anyone was getting used to it, and had drifted off back to sleep.

Said Kenwood later:

"It's sad when someone dies, but even sadder that the survivors have to make some a racket about it."

The funeral ceremony is due to last three days.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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