Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 12 December 2014

image for Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

GRANTS LICK, KY-Jason Moribund, 57, a lifelong resident of northern Kentucky, was pre-planning his funeral at Swindler and Curry Funeral Home last Friday night when he suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack.

The owner of the funeral home, Carter Askew, was in the process of showing Mr. Moribund a catalog listing the types of caskets available and their price ranges, when Mr. Moribund suddenly exclaimed, "My God! That Sanctuary Stainless Steel Casket starts at two thousand bucks! What do you think I'm made of--" But before Mr. Moribund could finish his thought, he grabbed his chest, writhed and gasped for about a minute on the floor of Mr. Askew's office, and then died. EMTs who arrived at the scene were unable to resuscitate Mr. Moribund.

The family of Mr. Moribund is now in the process of post-planning his funeral. Mr. Askew said Jason's wife, Shelia, is opting for the Pedestrian Pine Box Casket, which starts at $150.00.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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