The highly dangerous funeral plan

Funny story written by galgar

Saturday, 30 March 2019

Many funeral companies are now using the internet as a means to boost flagging businesses. They give the impression of concern about the high cost of funerals in general, and that they are giving the aged peace of mind by offering a supposedly cheap way of body disposal. They also try to give the impression they are removing the financial burden from the shoulders of loved ones. Not so, because they make no mention of the hidden costs of so-called 'extras'.

However, studies by an independent group show that those who take out the offered funeral plans are more likely to die earlier than those who choose not to take out a plan. It seems likely that the so-called 'peace of mind' is, in effect, a form of subconscious mental acceptance of probable imminent death, which causes the auto immune system to relax its efforts to combat cancerous invasions.

The eminent scientists engaged in the studies have yet find out the actual key to the insidious mental aberrations that cause the early deaths. The studies will continue as long as the finance is available.

So the essence of this sad tale, is that the funeral companies are feeling the pinch because we are living longer, which is certainly not to their liking. So tell them where to stick their funeral plans, and continue to live a long and happy life. Just stop smoking and moderate the alcohol consumption.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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