Trump Takes His Own Mute Button To Final Debate

Funny story written by Absolute Bull

Thursday, 22 October 2020

image for Trump Takes His Own Mute Button To Final Debate
Nobody mutes Trump!

Donald Trump has a secret weapon. It was hidden by his mask which he ripped off at the White House following his discharge from Walter Reed Hospital. Playing the accordion with his hands, Trump told the massed and masked news corps that he had a winning strategy for the final debate. That no power on earth, especially no woman on earth, whether it be Nancy, Melania or Kristen Welker would be able to mute him.

'I have a big mouth,' said Trump, 'because I’m heard all over the world. I will not be muted because satirists, talk-show hosts and cartoonists will lose their jobs if NBC interrupts me with that damn mute button.

'But I will have my way with a secret Government-issued weapon that will silence all my critics, enemies and Democratic Governors once and for all.'

With that, Trump tore off his mask, ripped apart his shirt to reveal the legendary S of the Man of Steel. Tattooed above the quivering belly button was the word ‘PANIC’. 'That button,' said Trump, 'is my secret weapon.'

Fox News, QAnon and the Proud Boys celebrated Trump’s decisive win at the final debate. But it did not last long, because the fallout was worse than the pandemic.

Viewers vividly recall the sudden end of the debate when Trump interrupted Biden and was suddenly cut off by Kristen, who pressed the Trump mute button. 'I'll show you who’s Boss,' bellowed the President, and ripped his shirt open, revealing a Red (Russian, naturally) Button gifted him by his friend, Vladimir.

All America gasped, as Trump snarled: 'Only I have the power to mute.' And, with devilish delight, he pressed his Panic Button to launch the nuclear football at CNN, NBC, suburban white women, Black Life Matter protesters, hurricanes; the Bidens, the Obamas, Fauci, COVID-19 and 20, the CDC, Democratic Governors, scientists, pollsters, Mexican wall climbers, kneeling NFL players, 400+ sacked White House staffers, Bob Woodward, John Bolton, Michael Cohen, Mary Trump, talk-show hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver and Trevor Noah, the creative tribe of cartoonists all over the world, and writers on

And Daisy Duck (a former admirer of Donald).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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