Reduced Milk Was Off

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 30 September 2020

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Not the milk in the story

A liter of milk that was purchased for half its normal retail price at a local supermarket was 'off', and not fit for human consumption, claims a human who tried to consume it.

The milk, which was 'Full Cream', had been selling for its regular price of $2.30 at the S
Chinese store in Battambang, but, approaching its 'sell by' date of 30 September, it had been reduced to the very reasonable discount price of $1.15.

When Englishman Moys Kenwood arrived on the scene at 11 a.m. on Tuesday morning (the 29th), and spied the offer, he hurriedly placed it in his basket, and scurried towards the checkout to pay.

On Wednesday morning, however, when he broke the seal on the carton of milk, and poured it onto his Corn Flakes, a ghastly telltale stench of fresh puke rose into the air, and filled the room, indicating that it might not be wise to use it.

Said the unlucky Kenwood:

"It was still within its date limit, but that's what you get for gambling with perishable dairy products."

He was forced to eat his Corn Flakes dry, and drink his tea black.

"I almost risked it, but I don't like getting those nasty little bits of clotted milk in my mouth, and stuck in my teeth," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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