Businesses are computerizing Everything. even your Toilet. (Here is your daily Crap report.) Retail Stores are the Recent really big users of Computerization. To save a Buck - they got rid of the underpaid Check - out guys and gals and ma…
Fears of empty supermarket shelves are driving people to find alternative food sources. One suggestion is to go out and find it in the wild. Some call it foraging. But an expert in these matters, wearing a trilby hat and brandishing a pint of Bri…
As a second lockdown becomes increasingly likely, due to the dreaded virus, even Waitrose shoppers have begun to panic buy. Stores around the country are reporting shortages of black olives, ciabatta and sun-dried tomatoes. One branch in Berksh…
A liter of milk that was purchased for half its normal retail price at a local supermarket was 'off', and not fit for human consumption, claims a human who tried to consume it. The milk, which was 'Full Cream', had been selling for its regular pri…
UK supermarkets and retailers have urged both fat, sweaty halfwits and rich, greedy twats to start hoarding and panic buying again, after news that a minor "lockdown" will be needed to halt the spread of Covid-19. "We need these morons to spend,"…
A local man who claims he can't stand doing his current job any longer, has taken the extraordinary step of applying for a shelf-stacking position at Wegman's. The man, who is currently involved in 'imparting knowledge', says he cannot put up with...
A girl serving on the check-out at an internationally-known supermarket was told, today, to button-up her shirt or face disciplinary action, after it was alleged by one man, that he could see her breasts. John Letch, 48, was standing in the queue...
My Ami, Florida—Pubix, a Florida grocery chain, has posted signs outside its stores: no dogs allowed (unless they are trained service dogs) and no dogs allowed in or on grocery carts (even if they are trained service dogs). The problem is that the do...
There was a swift reaction to the news earlier this week that supermarket giants Asda and Sainsbury were to merge, when several other major players also announced their own intentions to join forces. First to react was Tesco, who revealed that the...
A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe! Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were acc...
Children dumped in supermarket trolleys for free fun-rides through colourful, tasty looking gangways are to be banned because of doggy poop! A very hygienic mum, wearing rubber gloves, observed kiddies, even up to the grand old age of 9, being pus...
One of UK's largest supermarkets have decided to open their doors to a horde of rats! Instead of attempting to poison them, the supermarket feels rats are a perfect way of ridding the place of discarded food thrown away because the date of purchase h...
Paris, France - "At first we thought they'd died of la peste (the plague)," Inspector Clouseau said today as a mass grave of more than 200 corpses was discovered under a Paris supermarket. "Then we realised it could be the missing remains of 'Les...
The Prime Minister has announced plans to introduce the wearing of blindfolds in supermarkets for all benefit claimants which will be introduced of the Tories win the next General Election in May. The new requirement will apply to anyone claiming...
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh speaking at the opening of a new Greek themed hypermarket, caused much amusement yesterday, when he pulled out what appeared to be a crumpled script from his pocket and read out the following list, apparently not real...
U.K Supermarkets have all followed each other in a gaffe caused by a "night staff" manager in Fresco. Overnight shelf stackers have replaced all Christmas items on the shelves of major supermarkets with Easter eggs. Most people have experienced th...
Beleaguered supermarket chain, Tesdabury's found itself embroiled in yet more controversy last night after it emerged that the under-fire company has been systematically spying on its customers and then misusing the information it has acquired in doi...
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