Donald Trump Sperm Bank Project To Go Ahead

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 25 September 2020

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President Donald Trump may finally have gone some way to acknowledging his own part in the deaths of more than 200,000 US citizens from the Coronavirus, by announcing his intention to open brand new state-of-the-art sperm banks in every major city across the country.

Trump's misjudgement of the seriousness of the threat from COVID-19, slow decision-making, poor, incorrect advice, dangerous recommendations for its prevention, ridiculing face masks, and an overall lack of competence when dealing with virus issues, has led to many unnecessary deaths.

Recently refused admission to a sperm bank, he seems to be showing that he has the good of future generations at heart.

There is one major issue, however.

According to those close to the President, he not only intends to be responsible for the enormous cost of building the sperm banks - provisionally named Trump Spunk - and for paying the salaries of staff, he's also decided to be a donor.

The only donor.

One White House official said:

"Well, he thinks that, as he's the best president the US has ever had, and he is someone with superior intelligence and rich and handsome as well, future generations would benefit from being able to depend on a long line of people just like him."

Trump is well aware of how much 'hard work' it is going to be, keeping dozens of sperm banks adequately stocked.

But, continued the official:

"He's the one person on the planet best equipped to make a decent attempt at it - a complete and utter wanker"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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