Man Who Gets Cramp Got It Last Night

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 26 July 2020

image for Man Who Gets Cramp Got It Last Night
A bike not dissimilar to the one the man may have caught cramp from

A man who is often tortured by extreme attacks of muscular cramp in his lower left leg, has revealed how, last night, he was tortured by extreme attacks of muscular cramp in his lower left leg.

Moys Kenwood, 57, who is fully aware of how his lack of regular physical exercise is affecting his aging body, said that the attack came on as he slept, at around 4am.

A spasm shot up his calf, and, without even a thought, he sat bolt upright in bed, grasping frantically at the area of pain.

He said:

"Well, you know what cramp's like. It's not often pleasant. If ever."

Wanting to cry out in agony, but immediately aware that, if he did so, he would wake his wife and two children, he slapped his right hand over his mouth to stifle the scream.

Eventually, it went off.

It's thought the cramp may have been brought on by some bike rides he has been going on, lately.

But it might be anything, at his age.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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