It turns out the latest craze on Facebook doesn't work for everyone, as a middle-aged man finds out, the sad way, that he, in fact, already looks old.
Marty Brown, a 47-year-old Iowan, decided to give Face App a try after seeing one of his nieces use it to great comedic effect.
"I just downloaded or uploaded or whatever you do to get these things on your phone and tried it out," Brown stated, "and nothing happened. I looked exactly the same, except for their stupid logo down in the corner."
To ensure there was no user error, Mr. Brown had his niece try it on her phone.
"The same thing happened," he confirmed.
Several observers noted that the same result, with some suggesting a possible explanation.
Neighbor, Wendy Shmikes stated, "maybe it's because he already looks so old. Let's be honest, if he's on Facebook he probably is old, right?"
Brown later questioned, "am I really that bald?" to which he received several confirmations. He also suggested, perhaps he should not have smoked several packs of cigarettes a day for the past few decades.
"Man, I'm like a walking Face App," he lamented. "Couldn't they have made me into a skeleton or something, so I would look a little different?"
Face App has since issued a statement that anyone over the age of 50 should probably just not use their app, because there are only so many extra bags that they can simulate under someone's eyes. Face App representative Yevgini Stealyourstufko commented, "We want all Americans to not stop using app. That old guy who talk of skeletons have good idea. Maybe we steal... I mean use that. That sound funny."