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Funny satire stories about Old Age

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You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

Funny story: You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD, AND MAYBE AN OLD LONDON GIT...WHEN... With thanks to Ralph E. Shaffer You know you're old. ...You go out to a late night party, and when you return at 4am, your 20something kids are waiting up for you. ...After the party your ears are ringing for two days. ...An old-age pensioner is eyeing you up in Balham Sainsbury's. ...You remember when Keith Richards was goo...

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Man's Worst Fears Confirmed

Funny story: Man's Worst Fears Confirmed

A man who had spent several decades constantly worrying about his future, had his very worst fears confirmed at the beginning of this week, when he finally dropped dead. Stanley Mann, 107, was in perfectly good health for a man of his age, took re...

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Man Invents Breakthrough Contraption That Assist Old People Who Are Always Forgetting Shit

Funny story: Man Invents Breakthrough Contraption That Assist Old People Who Are Always Forgetting Shit

Omaha, Nebraska - A lifelong resident here, has created a breakthrough invention for aging adults with memory troubles. Philip Myers, 63, claims The Invention will change people's lives. "It happens to all of us old folks," states Myers. "We're si...

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Man Was Upset When Student Guessed His Age As "60"

Funny story: Man Was Upset When Student Guessed His Age As "60"

A teacher in the Cambodian second city of Battambang was "crushed" when student in his classroom guessed his age as 60, chuckling as he did. Moys Kenwood, 55, was asked his age by one of his more enthusiastic students, but he wasn't about to give...

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Harried Horticulturist Lacks Time to Stop and Smell Her Own Roses

Funny story: Harried Horticulturist Lacks Time to Stop and Smell Her Own Roses

World-renowned horticulturist Meghan Barlow, pressured on all sides to produce more award-winning zinnias, pentuias, celosia, and other blooms, recently realized that she lacked the time to stop and smell her own roses. "It's a problem," she ackno...

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Woman Rescued After Getting Stuck In Revolving Door

Funny story: Woman Rescued After Getting Stuck In Revolving Door

A woman on a shopping trip to the big city had to be rescued after she became stuck in a revolving door. Betty Smith was in New York for the very first time in her life, after living 74 years on a farm in Iowa. On a once-in-a-lifetime trip, the ol...

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Malaysian Prime Minister Has A Cold

Funny story: Malaysian Prime Minister Has A Cold

There was panic in the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur last night when it was revealed that the country's newly-elected leader, the 92-year-old Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, had a cold. Dr. Mohamad is the oldest Prime Minister in the world, after his p...

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So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

Funny story: So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

London - "In addition to destroying insects such as moths and silverfish," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon explained, "royal mothballs make useful stovepipe cleaners and snake repellants." The remarks come amid reports that Britain's Queen...

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Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Funny story: Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Paddy O'Flynn had had enough it seems. He had decided to apply to his local housing authority for help with his rent having vacated his old house and moved into a rented apartment in Clapham Common, South London. That is where his troubles began. His wife Caitlin takes up the story. "They sent him a form to fill in. It was thick as the London Times. For three months he tried to figure it o...

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Jimmy Fallon Revealed To Be In Mid-Fifties

Funny story: Jimmy Fallon Revealed To Be In Mid-Fifties

Last night, Jimmy Fallon made a joke that totally bombed. He was booed, during his monologue, when Fallon talked about the possible gender of Chelsea Clinton's baby. "If it's a girl, it will get some of Chelsea's old hand-me-downs. And if it's a...

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Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

Funny story: Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

My grandfather was over spending the weekend at my college as I had an extra room and the rest of the family told me it was my time. Gramps is not a bad old guy, just a little senile but mostly lonesome as all his old friends are dead. "Grandpa, there's a 'Weekend At Bernies' marathon on this weekend. I need to go out and do some stuff, I'll get it started for you. If you get tired, turn it...

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Putin Bans Colbert Show Punishes Viewers of Pussy Riot

Funny story: Putin Bans Colbert Show Punishes Viewers of Pussy Riot

Two of the Pussy Riot Russian punk band were hilarious on the Stephen Colbert show 2 nights ago. They poked fun at virtual dictator, Valdimir Putin and made his athletic exploits, which display his aging body, look absurd. The Pussy Riot members wer...

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Justin Bieber Had Invisible Childhood Friend

Funny story: Justin Bieber Had Invisible Childhood Friend

Justin Bieber told reporters yesterday that he knew he was going to be kidded a lot but that was OK. "Like most kids I had this childhood friend that only I could see and his name was Tidy Little!" This brought a hearty laugh from the crowd but...

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Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Funny story: Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Washington: Several older gentlemen have registered their own political party today that will compete with the Democrats and Republicans in 2016! "We're sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and (Slap on the back) being blamed for a...

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Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

Funny story: Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

This morning's announcement from the Vatican that 85 year old Pope Benedict XV1 is to stand down as leader of the Catholic church due to advancing years seems almost certain to mean the choice of a much younger replacement. Pope Benedict XV1's dec...

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"Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people!"---Wayne LaPierre

Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, held a press conference this morning to make a major announcement. His Face flushed and obviously excited, he gripped a sheaf of papers and took the podium. He began: "Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people...

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Britain's Oldest Woman in fear of her life

Funny story: Britain's Oldest Woman in fear of her life

Emily Harrison, Britain's oldest woman has contacted police, afraid for her life. "She believes that Maggie Davies of Kings Close in Dorking is gunning for her, in order to take the title of oldest woman in Britain for herself," said Detective Ins...

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My life as a man #12

Funny story: My life as a man #12

Honey-Do Lists and Female Barbers I'm telling you all right now, and you can look it up here on my writer's profile: My turn-ons do not include crawling on my belly through damp, bushy, dark places with deep, wet holes.... OK, OK, I'll reconsider that. I do not like crawling under the goddamned house to change air conditioner filters. I'm retired; I make enough money to pay some out-a-wor...

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