Woman's Nosy Neighbour Died Unexpectedly And Out-Of-The-Blue

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 2 March 2019

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Death looking for Susan's house

A woman has told of her surprise and sadness when she learnt that her next-door-neighbour had inexplicably and unexpectedly kicked the bucket over the weekend.

The woman - me mam, 82 - spoke of her neighbour, Susan, 69, who, without warning, gave up the ghost on Sunday morning in Hull.

Me mam said:

"She was out up street every day with that dog. Rain or shine, never missed a walk. Then, just when she least expected it ... ah well, that's what happens, I suppose."

Ambulance staff confirmed me mam's suspicions. One said:

"We can confirm that, that's what happens. Despite this lady's previous good health, and lively attitude and outlook on life, it doesn't make a scrap of difference when the Grim Reaper decides it's time to collect your coat."

But the sadness at Susan's passing didn't last. Me mam said:

"She knew everybody's business. She used to sit in her bedroom watching all of what went on in the street from behind her curtains. She used to look on the internet to find out how much people's houses were worth, and court records to see who'd been in court. She even had a pair of binoculars! She was a nasty piece of work."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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