A man who had severely itchy knackers, this morning, thought he might have had an ant in his underpants. The man, who spoke to me on condition of anonymity, said that he had been sat in the kitchen doorway of his home, talking to his wife, who was...
A man who was attacked by a crab, receiving a rather painful nip on the foot, reacted spontaeously and taught the beast a lesson it will never forget, for as long as it lives, which wasn't long. The man was sitting quietly minding his own business...
A man has been committed to a psychiatric ward after being diagnosed with a rare and very serious mental condition: 'Terrifying Flying Toilet Seat Syndrome.' "Victims of terrifying flying toilet seat syndrome have psychoactive events that are link...
It's bad news from Dorking, as the town's last remaining Bering Sea crab boat has been mothballed, due to financial constraints, and being unable to compete with their Alaskan counterparts, such as those featured on Discovery Channel's 'Deadliest Cat...
As it emerged today, veteran Manchester United football star, Ryan Giggs has signed yet another one year extension to his contract, but many people are wondering what he will do after he decides to draw the curtain on his distinguished football caree...
The jilted ex-girlfriend of foot-baller Ashley Cole, who was unceremoniously dumped earlier this week (see Ashley Cole dumps Sarah Purnell.....by text), has sensationally claimed that Ashley Cole left her....with 'crabs'. The 23 year-old lap dance...
The University of Newcastle upon Tyne released the results of a two-year study of the dangers posed to humans infested by foreign crabs coming ashore in the UK. Undocumented alien sex workers are infecting good, clean British "Johns" who then spread...
DUTCH HARBOR, AK - In a bid to dramatically increase its viewing audience, Discovery's Channel will reportedly cut narrator Mike Roe from its highly-rated series Deadliest Crabs, bagging ice queen Ann Coulter to fill his role in the frigid Bering Sea...
Just coming in - A crash occurred seconds ago in Well Street, Hackney, London E9. Incoming reports suggest that a VW Golf shunted into a Renault Kangoo. No reports as yet of any injuries. The drivers are currently exchanging insurance details. An...
Itchy Sarah Palin, mayor of Wasilla, Alaska which has more pubic lice than people sought large Federal grants to find a cure for the crabs. Palin told a Congressional committee charged with investigating Pthirus pubis ("crab" louse, pubic louse) that...
Recent newcomer to England, East European Pincha Knifenfork had unwelcome visitors to his nether region after a night with a woman he picked up at a dockside pub, "The Haddock and Rupture"...
A woman, yet to be named, is in hospital with second degree burns to her groin after attempting to rid herself from an infestation of Pthirus pubis (Pubic lice, or Crabs). The woman is believed to have used a whole can of foaming insect killer to...
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