Ant Got Into Man's Jap's Eye, Causing Concern

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 24 March 2019

image for Ant Got Into Man's Jap's Eye, Causing Concern
You won't get in there with that, y'tinker!

A man who was sleeping in his bed in the Thai capital of Bangkok, became alarmed when a stabbing pain in his penal column caused him to sit bolt upright and shout:

"Aaaaaagh! Fuuuckinellll!"

Moys Kenwood, 52, had returned home from work in a state of near-collapse, and had quickly showered and flopped naked onto the bed for forty winks. His consciousness behind him, he slept a deep, deep sleep.

The next part of the tale is related by a neighbor who was roused from her own reverie by a blood-curdling scream emanating from Kenwood's apartment. She said:

"I heard this chilling scream, like a man who has awoken to find himself being devoured by a tiger, or, perhaps, a Great White Shark."

It was, of course, neither of these things.

Kenwood's neighbor at the other side told us:

"We have a problem with ants in the building. Most of them are harmless, but there are some that might give a nasty bite, especially if they crawl inside somewhere sensitive, which is what I suspect has happened here."

The victim, himself, later admitted:

"I got a bit of a nasty shock. I'll be throbbing for a while, but I've learnt my lesson. I'll sleep with my underpants on in the future!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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