Breaking News from Hollywood. Famous film writer, producer and director, Sylvester Iceberg, has announced his latest project will be based on a battle between the Ebola virus and the COVID-19 virus -
to take over the world. Famous for movies like The Trumpstones, The Colour Teal, and Used Undies, Iceberg said the movie will be made in 65 different locations, one for every actor, as U.S. social distancing rules in force mean that all filming will be done using videoconferencing.
Asked about the plot, Iceberg was keen not to give away too many details, but he did reveal some of the thinking behind the movie. "Essentially, we will see Ebola virus escape from Africa and break out all over the world, simultaneous to COVID-19 escaping from a traditional Chinese restaurant in Shanghai which served under-cooked sweet and sour chicken testicles as a starter to four thousand ravenous locals. The plot develops as doctors rush to work out whether spontaneous bleeding from all orifices or drowning in your own mucus poses the biggest threat to mankind."
Iceberg did reveal the film's target audience. "As you can imagine, this film won't have many love or sex scenes. And it will portray mass suffering and lingering deaths on a scale previously unimaginable, especially with the use of computer-generated imagery. This offers us the chance to show people dying hideously in 3D and Surround Sound, including some of the longest and noisiest projectile vomiting scenes ever produced. We see our audience as everyone over the age of twenty-one, probably male, unless they are medical professionals, who have no history of psychosis, preferably have experienced frontline hand-to-hand combat, without suffering PTSD, and who don't mind the odd confronting scene. The entire crew and I are proud to be making this film in this time of pandemic."
Filming starts in June, and the film will be released in early 2021.