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Funny satire stories about water

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Funny story: Town appalled flume ride uses dirty water

Town appalled flume ride uses dirty water

It was recently discovered by residents of Goodstun, Arizona that the local log ride, built in 1957, has, in fact, been using dirty water for years. The discovery was made when local scientists from the Goodstun YMCA tested the ph balance only fo...

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Funny story: Double Trouble

Double Trouble

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. That was several years ago. They haven’t been seen since. Okay, okay, strictly speaking, the twins didn’t go to “fetch a pail of water.” It didn’t happen exactly like the nursery rhyme. But they DID go up a hill and were never seen coming down. That’s a definite. And water played a big, big part in the story of the two missing seventh...

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Funny story: Hydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids

Hydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids

Mike Hydrogen and Kate Oxygen, known throughout the world as the important duo Water, have admitted that they are really only sticking together for the kids. Hydrogren said: 'I always felt I was doing all of the work. There I was, putting in twice...

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Funny story: EPA Okays Water, Town Protests

EPA Okays Water, Town Protests

The Environmental Protection Agency recently tested the quality of drinking water for the town of Sedona, Arizona. The water passed all tests with flying colors. Unfortunately this did not bode well for the town of 10,000 residents who immediately...

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Funny story: Water Waste Of Time

Water Waste Of Time

One thing you can always rely on with BATTL News is that we will eventually come back with something irrelevant and pointless just when you thought we'd finally buggered off. Yet after discovering that a "Water Only Bar" was to open in London we k...

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Funny story: Mandatory water usage to be imposed for parts of Richmond, Tri-Cities (Virginia)

Mandatory water usage to be imposed for parts of Richmond, Tri-Cities (Virginia)

The Appomattox River Water Authority on Thursday announced that mandatory water usage will go into effect next Thursday, Jul. 30. The announcement was made due to increasing water levels at Lake Chesdin, a 3,100-acre water supply reservoir on the...

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Funny story: Drinking Water may trigger Depression

Drinking Water may trigger Depression

Scientists are asking if water, though the purest liquid one can imbibe, may possibly cause brain chemical imbalance, leading to Depression. 'It may even be, that, getting drunk on alcohol is actually better, for maintaining optimism and not actu...

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Funny story: Obama Tackles Fluoridation

Obama Tackles Fluoridation

President Barack Obama is considering acting against the fluoridation of drinking water in the US. Almost seventy percent of the nation's household water supply is currently fluoridated despite the mounting evidence that it is actually injurious to h...

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Funny story: Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Investors are clamouring to buy shares in Welsh Mixers P.L.C as news broke yesterday that gigantic Welsh reservoirs containing ice and lemon are to be commissioned in Snowdonia. An open "aquaduct" system will be built to supply London's Hoorah H...

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Funny story: 'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

'Water Cops' to Catch Wasters in California on New Reality Show

Santa Cruz, CA - "Bad Buoys, Bad Buoys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" You might recognize the theme song for the newest reality show to debut from California amidst their worst drought in years and ongoing, severe water...

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Funny story: Halal tap water causes outrage

Halal tap water causes outrage

First it was Subway that was selling halal meat, then Pizza Express, now it turns out halal produce is everywhere, including the water coming out of British taps. "This is an outrage," said Nick Farage, head of UKIP. "Why isn't this on the news?...

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Funny story: French Government Grants 10M Euros To Study Why Water Is Clear

French Government Grants 10M Euros To Study Why Water Is Clear

Paris (Roto Rooters) - The French government has provided 10M Euros (almost $14M U.S. dollars) to Aix-Marseille University Faculty of Sciences to conduct a study to determine why water is clear. An additional 7.5M Euros was granted to conduct a simil...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber's Head on Chopping Block?

Justin Bieber's Head on Chopping Block?

Justin Bieber really did it this time! Or someone is certainly after his hide. An estimated 200,000 visitors to the Ganges River in India who come there to bath and be healed had fled the area after spotting human waste bobbing down the river last...

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Funny story: Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

According to a leading nutrition expert, Mars Langston, people should eat all the good-tasting junky food they like and pop a few vitamins jellies. "You will live about five years longer if you eat healthy but it's just not worth it! Much of that...

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Funny story: The English Channel's Water Level Is Going Down

The English Channel's Water Level Is Going Down

NEW YORK CITY - U.S. oceanic scientists are reporting that the English Channel is losing about 9 gallons of seawater per year. They stressed that although there is no need for concern at the present time, weather experts are keeping a close eye on...

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Funny story: West Virginians Drinking Only Wine and Mountain Dew

West Virginians Drinking Only Wine and Mountain Dew

For years educated West Virginians and outsiders criticized rural residents for serving children Mountain Dew. Now, a month into a water crisis caused by a chemical spill, all residents have become Mountain Dew drinkers. "I was very hesitant, but...

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Funny story: Waterways Agency hunt for missing canals

Waterways Agency hunt for missing canals

With the recent devastating flooding across the south of England, the Waterways Agency have requested help from the government to locate hundreds of miles of missing canals. "We thought we knew where they were," said Walter Way, head of Canal main...

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