Sweden drops case against Assange; Arbuthnot replaced with new lot

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 22 November 2019

image for Sweden drops case against Assange; Arbuthnot replaced with new lot
Judge DeduceNot's wife Gertrude cheerfully assisting

Recent news on the Assange case indicates that Judge Emma Arbuthnot has recused herself as Mr. Assange’s prosecutor on the grounds of conflict of interest.

Just a few days back, Sweden dropped its rape case charges against Assange for the third time, saying this time it’s final.

The case rested on two women who slept with Assange and continued to party with him after being disappointed with his performance in the evening.

Judge Arbuthnot’s conflict of interest includes her husband’s connection to a company, Darktrace (also his employer), which has ties to the UK’s military establishment and the CIA.

Assange, having served his time for the infraction of not reporting properly to a police station, continues in Belmarsh Prison while waiting for an extradition hearing.

He is being held in miserable conditions for most human beings, and his health is deteriorating.

Fans of punishing Assange are relieved that a new group of individuals will step in for Judge Arbuthnot.

They hail from the firm Goering, Goering, and Herman International Incorporated, led by the distinguished arbiter Judge Benito DeduceNot.

Some of the charges against Assange:

*Publishing criminal behaviors as with the “Collateral Murder” video.

*Revealing HRC’s cheating at the 2016 DNC convention to get herself the nomination for president.

*Being generally unpleasant and nasty to the finest intelligence agencies in the western world since the 1930’s.

*Smirking on his balcony and stroking his cat when confined at the Ecuador Embassy.

*Refusing to cooperate with western media's demonizing of his person.

*Defending himself.

Judge DeduceNot is also author of Exceptional Moments in Jurisprudence from Nero and Caligula to the Present, bestseller across the continents.

“I will persecute* this case with all the vigor of the preceding authorities in this matter,” he has said.

(*Questioned on this particular term, the Judge responded: "Sorry! A mindless slip! Of course I meant prosecute!")

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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