Old Lady Finds Love At Last

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 18 May 2019

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The Spoof hopes the 'gentleman' doesn't have any dishonest intentions...

A woman from Buffalo has revealed how, after a life of spinsterhood, during which she had never so much as kissed a member of the opposite sex, she has finally found sweet love and happiness in her 93rd year.

Grace Simpson, 92, says she "never had the time, nor the inclination" to get involved with boys, and this continued all the way through her adult life.

Aged just 25, she became a nursemaid to her infirm mother, who required constant 24-hour care. Her father toiled unceasingly at his lumber business, which eventually made him rich, but too late to enjoy it. Her mom and dad died within two months of each other, aged 61 and 63 respectively, when Grace was just 35 - rich, but 'on the shelf'.

She went back to work as an accountant, and spent many years wondering 'what might have been'. Time rolled on.

Recently, however, Grace bought a computer, and was shown how to use it by her neighbor's grandson. He set up social media accounts for Grace, and she made online friends. One of these proved 'extra special', polite, and gentlemanly. He patiently wooed Grace, and asked her to meet him.

The neighbor's grandson had warned Grace not to tell anyone online too much about herself, because of the number of liars and charlatans about, so she kept to what she thought was the 'bare essentials'. She thinks, however, she may have mentioned her immense fortune just before her date was set up, scheduled for tomorrow evening at an upmarket New York bistro.

So, was Grace going to tell us about her man? She blushed a little and said:

"Oh, he's a real gentleman, a lot younger than me, but he says he really loves me, and wants to get married! I've told him he's crazy, but I said 'yes'! At my age, there's no time to waste! I'm so excited - I just can't wait to be Mrs. Smollett!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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