Wedding Party Experience Left Nasty Taste In Woman's Mouth

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 1 August 2019

image for Wedding Party Experience Left Nasty Taste In Woman's Mouth
Sausages are not really her 'thing'

A woman who was forced to eat something that she didn't like at a wedding party has said that she felt humiliated in front of the other guests, and that the whole experience has left a nasty taste in her mouth.

Wendy O'Kooms, of Dublin, was attending the wedding reception of her work colleague, Brenda, after her marriage to fiancé, Daniel, on Saturday. After the ceremony, the party adjourned to the Emerald Hotel for the reception, and it's there that the trouble started.

The 100-strong wedding contingent sat down to an enormous quantity of champagne, followed by lots of beer. Within 30 short minutes, the room was well-and-truly spinning, despite the fact that the DJ hadn't yet started his repertoire.

Next came the food, which is where Wendy came unstuck.

Sitting between two louts, Eamon Cocksgirth, and Seamus O'Groin, Wendy baulked when she saw a plate of pork sausages, mashed potatoes and peas being placed in front of her. Noticing this, Cocksgirth grabbed one of the sausages and waved it in front of her face. As the other guests seemed oblivious to this, with many of them slumped across the tables in a drunken stupor, the pair of thugs forced their sausages into Wendy's mouth, and chuckled as she choked, gagging on the gristle. She tried to scream, but this was muffled.

With a frantic effort, she staggered out of the room and fled in a waiting taxi.

She told police later:

"The whole experience left a nasty taste in my mouth."

Brenda and Daniel are spending a few days with friends in Cockermouth, before heading off to Bangkok and Phuket for their honeymoon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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